The strange thrill with which she heard him
go back to that time, deepened as he dwelt upon it; but, there was nothing to
shock her in the manner of his reference. He only seemed to contrast his
present cheerfulness and felicity with the dire endurance that was over.
`I have looked at her, speculating
thousands of times upon the unborn child from whom I had been rent. Whether it
was alive. Whether it had been born alive, or the poor mother's shock had
killed it. Whether it was a son who would some day avenge his father. (There
was a time in my imprisonment, when my desire for vengeance was unbearable.)
Whether it was a son who would never know his father's story; who might even
live to weigh the possibility of his father's having disappeared of his own
will and act. Whether it was a daughter who would grow to be a woman.'
She drew closer to him, and kissed his
cheek and his hand. `I have pictured my daughter, to myself, as perfectly
forgetful of me--rather, altogether ignorant of me, and unconscious of me. I
have cast up the years of her age, year after year. I have seen her married to
a man who knew nothing of my fate. I have altogether perished from the
remembrance of the living, and in the next generation my place was a blank.'
`My father! Even to hear that you had such
thoughts of a daughter who never existed, strikes to my heart as if I had been
that child.'
`You, Lucie? It is out of the consolation
and restoration you have brought to me, that these remembrances arise, and pass
between us and the moon on this last night.--what did I say just now?'
She knew nothing of you. She cared nothing
for you.'
`So! But on other moonlight nights, when
the sadness and the silence have touched me in a different way--have affected
me with something as like a sorrowful sense of peace, as any emotion that had
pain for its foundations could--I have imagined her as coming to me in my cell,
and leading me out into the freedom beyond the fortress. I have seen her image
in the moonlight often, as I now see you; except that I never held her in my
arms; it stood between the little grated window and the door. But, you
understand that that was not the child I am speaking of?'
`The figure was not; the--the--image; the
fancy?'
没有评论:
发表评论